Train of Thought: All smiles

People smile a lot more in the US than anywhere else I’ve been. At first, that got me thinking that people were very nice. Then, I began suspecting that they were just very fake. (Working in hospitality during my work and travel days helped compound that impression). Many moons and some reflection later, I realized things just aren't black and white. So, these days, I am of the opinion that a smile is a code.

The physicality of smiling alone is pretty awesome and varied - showing or not showing teeth, involving the muscles around the eyes , the ‘Duchenne smile', or not, etc. – but the cultural implications are even more complex.

Here's how I see it: The cultural code in the US holds that your smile is your best business card. And, indeed, it seems that the wider, whiter smiles almost always leave a better impression. People gifted with generous and shiny smiling apparatuses fare better in job interviews and are perceived as more trustworthy. The frequency of the act is also important – the more you do it, the friendlier and more open you appear.

This Boing Boing post details the differences between American and Japanese perception of smiles. I can only talk from experience.

In Europe, too much smiling can be perceived as a sign of shallowness. Few if any salespeople will smile at you in European stores, even in Anglo-Saxon friendly countries like Germany, Norway, etc. A transaction is a transaction, and while they’re nice and friendly, smiling is not a prerequisite. If you pay close attention, even Italians don’t smile all that much: they’re loud, gesticular, glib, and friendly, but fewer smiley faces. As to the French, I’m sure there’s no need to go there at all (…) In short, in business-like environments, smiling is seen at best as superfluous and at worst as a sign of dishonesty/foolishness.

As for Eastern Europe, American friends traveling to the region, let me give you a piece of advice: if a salesperson of the opposite sex smiles at you and is actually helpful – RUN!!!! Run fast and far, as they have ID-ed you as a ‘rich foreigner’ (practically synonymous in my part of the world) and they either want to a) swindle you; b) marry you, or c) swindle you, then marry you, then introduce you to their angry brothers. Ouch!